For me the need to create comes from such a place that it manifests in multiple avenues.. colour, melody, words. Writing always felt restrictive to me while music and illustration felt boundless (maybe due to my own inaptitude). I can get lost looking at a painting, totally transport myself into the world the artist created.. I think in abstracts and have often been told I’m “spacey” and “aloof”. I do find it hard to stay focused in the reality that surrounds me. A lot of my music is influenced by visuals that I experience, real-life or imagined. Pictures, words and melodies float in and out of my head, especially in delicate stages of sleep and in some ways I think most of my “work” is done in those moments.
I’m very connected to my ‘dream state’- call it some other dimension if you like.. (I’ve experienced sleep paralysis and out-of-body experiences from a young age and have always felt connected to my dreams). I don’t feel like more than a conduit for the ideas that come to me- I take from the universe what it offers up to me and that’s where most of my art comes from. The rest is what I scrape up from my human experience, shaving off the best little pieces to document in song. I don’t want to forget the beautiful moments, and in saying that I mean the sad ones too because I so much value feeling itself. It’s actually beautiful and human to feel so deeply, something I once considered a curse but have since learned to harness.
I don’t think “sad” artists release negativity into the world. If anything I believe the act of creation itself is enough to counteract the darkness that inspired it. I’ve pondered often whether downcast artists with depressive fan-bases (I fit into both these categories so no offence to anyone here) are just perpetuating misery by the masses. What I’ve come to realize is that in every sad song is a thread of hope (something my dad used to say)- an etching of positivity that carefully lines the surface. I don’t know where it comes from.. maybe the feeling of being understood, maybe the strength that song has to pull people together.. perhaps just the raw enjoyment of listening that makes you feel a little better after it’s done. They're traps for the miserable, something they think will allow them to dwell on their negativity, drawing in sorrowful creatives only to send them off feeling a little more inspired so they can go make beauty of their torment..
Apologies for my flowery language and scattered thoughts, these are today’s brain-strings for anyone who felt like deciphering..